Over My Dead Body
by crematosis
Summary: When Tony refuses to talk to Steve, Loki forces him to communicate through a game of charades. Steve/Tony
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, I've read a couple stories now where Loki is either friends with Tony and tries to nudge him into dating Steve so he'll be happy, or Loki decides to curse either one or both of the boys so that they'll worry about each other and discover feelings. So I decided to get in on that too. Sorry not sorry.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Avengers stuff, but no. Sadly, no.

Steve rose halfway off the couch when Tony staggered into the den, eyes wild and hair disheveled. The man was usually the picture of suave calm, even after spending days holed up in his workshop without sleep. To see Tony look so panicked, well, he expected nothing short of the apocalypse.

"What's going on? Do we need to suit up?" Steve looked guiltily at the Tom Clancy novel he had been reading. Had he missed the call to assemble?

Tony shook his head. "Loki."

Steve frowned. "What has he done this time?"

Over a year ago, the trickster had been declared reformed and rehabilitated (or, according to Tony, "reformed" and "rehabilitated") by SHIELD leadership and Loki had been unobtrusively living in the Avenger's tower ever since. Loki was only technically part of the team since nobody really trusted him yet. Especially with all the pranks he had been pulling. Things like turning quinjet fuel into bubble bath or making Jarvis' voice glitch out. Tony was probably never going to forgive him for that one.

"Killer charades," Tony said.

Steve stared at him. "So, let me get this straight. Loki's going to kill you if you don't play a game of charades with him?" How on earth did this constitute an emergency? Charades was a perfectly reasonable game, something even Steve knew how to play.

"You don't understand," Tony wailed. He grabbed fistfuls of dark hair and yanked.

And that got Steve's attention. Tony _never_ wailed.

"Oh god. Tony, did he actually hurt you?" Steve gave Tony a quick once-over. The genius didn't actually look injured, just scared out of his mind. And it took a lot to scare Tony.

"Not yet," Tony said in a whisper. His eyes darted to the side. "But he will."

"Nope. Not on my watch." Steve snatched up his shield from its place beside the couch and marched towards the hallway.

Tony clutched his arm. "No, you can't go. Loki's going to kill me."

"Not if I kill him first." Steve hoped it wouldn't come to that. Maybe a good stern talking-to and a light pummeling would do the trick.

"But you can't! If you leave-" The light of the arc reactor flickered momentarily. Tony screamed and clutched at his chest.

"Tony!" Steve rushed to support him when Tony's legs looked ready to buckle. "My god, what happened?"

"Loki's going to kill me," Tony repeated in a ragged voice. "Cardiac arrest."

"I'm not going to let that happen. There's got to be something we can do."

Tony took a step backwards, swaying unsteadily. "Killer charades."

"You mean, you have to-I have to guess?" Steve slowly sank back onto the couch. This wasn't happening. Tony's life depended on whether he could guess whatever message Loki had for him. Oh, how he wished he was better at charades

"I like…" Tony wheezed out. He coughed and spluttered, pointing frantically to his chest.

"I know, I know!" Steve bounced on the edge of his seat. "God, Tony, I need some kind of hint."

Tony shook his head and jabbed a finger against his chest.

"You like…" Steve trailed off uncertainly. Tony liked himself? Well, everybody knew that.

Tony rolled his eyes upwards. His face was rapidly purpling.

"Tony!" Steve said frantically.

Tony slapped his chest then gestured wildly in Steve's direction.

"You like other people? Maybe a specific person?" Steve ventured.

Tony nodded vigorously and sucked in a deep breath.

Okay, good. Tony was breathing again. He had to be on the right track. But-wait, Tony liked someone? Tony Stark actually had a crush? Unbelievable.

"Who?" he blurted out before he could help himself.

Tony gasped and clutched at his chest. "Steve!"

"Oh god, Tony. I'm sorry."

What an idiot he was. Tony depended on him understanding Loki's message. Questioning him was only going to make it worse.

Tony turned his hand over and made a motion as if smacking an invisible table. He stomped a foot on the ground.

"Here? The tower?"

Tony bobbed his head and made an encouraging gesture.

"So, someone who lives in the tower? One of us?"

Another vigorous nod. Tony pointed to himself again and then back at Steve.

Steve was hesitant to say it out loud, but it seemed like the only option. "You like…me?"

Tony's eyes rolled up into his head and he collapsed bonelessly onto the floor.

Steve rushed to his side. "Tony! Tony, are you okay?" Steve kicked himself mentally. Why on earth would Tony ever like him? They did nothing but argue most of the time. And now he had killed Tony with such a ridiculous guess.

Tony's eyes fluttered open and he smiled faintly. "Took you long enough."

Steve's shoulders sagged with relief. "Jesus, Tony. You almost gave me a heart attack."

Tony rolled his eyes as he struggled upright. "Because it was totally my idea to almost die today."

"It was probably one of your ideas that got you into this mess. What did you do to make Loki this mad?"

Tony reddened and averted his eyes. "The words 'over my dead body' might have come out of my mouth earlier."

Steve sighed. "Tony, I don't understand why you insist on antagonizing-" Steve cut himself off as his brain suddenly processed what had happened. "You like me? Oh wow. You like me and Loki forced you to tell me."

"Okay, yes. I like you. Happy now?" Tony crossed his arms over his chest and looked pointedly at the ceiling.

"Yeah," Steve said. "I'm happy. Not happy that you almost died. But happy that this stubborn idiot returns my feelings."

Tony's mouth dropped open. "You-wait, wait. You like me too?"

"Love," Steve said.

"Love," Tony confirmed. "Damn. We're idiots. All this time, we could have been making out instead of arguing."

Steve hauled Tony up on the couch beside him. "We can make up for lost time."

Tony hummed in approval and leaned his head against Steve's chest. "Maybe Loki's not so bad after all."

Steve chuckled. "I like the outcome, even if I don't approve of his methods."

Tony waved a hand dismissively. "Totally worth it. Loki's a goddamn genius."

Steve smiled and threaded his hands through Tony's hair. He had to agree. Moments ago he had been ready to kill the trickster, but now, now he was considering whipping up a batch of Loki's favorite cookies.

And of course the wonderful moment had to be ruined as Steve's phone blared out a discordant rap song. He flinched. He didn't remember setting that as his ring tone (not that he knew how to set his ring tone anyway. Tony had insisted on upgrading everyone's cell to the newest Starkphone and two weeks later, Steve still wasn't sure what all the buttons did). He didn't even like rap music.

Tony's mouth twisted with amusement. "You gonna get that?"

Steve pressed the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Captain Rogers," Fury said in his usual no-nonsense tone. "Hostage situation at SHIELD headquarters. We need you ASAP."

"Yes, sir."

Steve hung up the phone and looked over at Tony. Life was so unfair.

Tony offered him a lopsided smile. "Come back soon?"

Steve swallowed. "Yeah," he said. "I'll be back." He snatched up the shield and bolted out the door.

As soon as Steve was safely out of the room, Tony vanished and Loki took his place on the couch, his feet propped up on the armrests. "All too easy," he said.

Steve was so transparent in his affections. Loki had lost count of the times Captain America had rushed to Iron Man's aid in battle. And apparently the protective feelings extended to when Tony was in danger too. Marvelous.

He had become rather fond of Thor's new friends. He had wanted so desperately to despise them and to make them hate him in return. But it was harder to hate them than he had expected. Probably because they were clueless idiots who desperately needed his help.

Loki smirked and his body rippled, familiar green tunic replaced with Captain America's red, white and blue spandex. "Righteousness surging through my veins," he reminded himself. "Loyalty, patriotism, and all that rot."

All he had to do now was rush down into Tony's workshop and try to sacrifice himself on Tony's behalf, taking a fatal wound that would miraculously be cured by the power of love. Or something like that.

Loki rubbed his hands together in delight. "One down, one to go."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So, I've gotten a lot of requests for continuation. And in honor of April Fool's Day, I thought I'd write a follow-up. Yeah, I know it's not April Fool's Day anymore...but I was writing it when it was. So, shush. XD

Disclaimer: Sadly, Loki is only my muse and not actually my property. What a pity. I could use a matchmaking Loki in my life.

Tony hummed to himself as he began inputting the last bit of coding for the new armor. And after that, he could take a break while Jarvis ran the calculations. He could really use another cup of coffee. And maybe a cheeseburger. Mmm. Steve would probably be willing to go for a burger run with him. It didn't matter that it was almost midnight. Steve was always hungry.

He was snapped out of his reverie by a loud thump. He looked up in time to see Steve tumble down the stairs and land in a heap right outside the door to the workshop. Now that wasn't something he saw everyday.

"Hey, Cap," Tony called. "What's the rush? Something going on upstairs?"

Steve didn't answer him, didn't even move.

"Sir, I-"

"Hold that thought, Jarvis." Tony shoved back from his desk, the force sending his chair spinning all the way across the workroom. "Steve? You okay, buddy?"

The supersoldier groaned and raised himself to his elbows. "Tony?"

Tony was out the door before he even realized he had gotten out of the chair. Something was seriously wrong with Steve. Captain America didn't go down for the count after a little tumble.

He knelt at Steve's side. "Talk to me, Cap. What's going on?"

"Just give me a second," Steve said. He put his hands flat against the ground and grimaced as he pushed himself onto his hands and knees.

And that was when Tony saw the knife embedded in Steve's chest.

"Jesus Christ," Tony said. "How did this happen? Are we under attack?"

Steve shook his head. "Loki," he said through gritted teeth.

"Goddamnit. I knew we couldn't trust him. We're kicking him off the team, effective immediately. And we're going to kick his ass. All of us. I'll let you throw the first punch."

"No time," Steve said. "I had to see you first."

He looked tired, defeated. The usual determination was missing from his eyes.

_I had to see you first_.

Tony's chest tightened. "Oh, don't start with that. There'll be time. There'll be plenty of time. We just gotta pull that toothpick out of you and you'll be fine."

"Tony, I-"

"Steven Grant Rogers, I am not listening to you give up. We have survived so much worse. Man up and let me take care of you."

Steve sighed heavily, but accepted the hand Tony held out to him. It took a little work hauling Steve to his feet. Steve was, after all, quite a bit more muscular than Tony was. But the bots helped, nudging Steve into a better position for Tony to grab onto.

Steve leaned against the doorframe. "Tony," he said. "I don't think I can go on."

"That's the blood loss talking." The front of Steve's shirt was all a dark, wet smear. It looked like a lot of blood.

"It's a magic dagger," Steve said.

"So what?" Tony shoved all of the various parts of his new prototype off the big worktable. "Lie down and let me have a look at it."

Steve laid down across the table and closed his eyes. "It's not going to work, Tony. I've already tried."

Tony ripped Steve's shirt down the middle for a better look at the wound. The skin was black around the blade with faint green lines radiating outwards. Definitely magic. Oh, how Tony hated magic.

Steve flinched as Tony put a hand on his chest. "Tony, please."

"Sorry, Steve. It has to come out." Tony curled his hand over the dagger's handle and pulled as hard as he could.

Nothing happened. Nothing except Steve's pained hiss.

"I told you it wouldn't work."

"Shut up, Steve. We'll find a way." He stroked his goatee. "Thor would know. He's probably been stabbed a million times by that little bastard already."

Steve put his hand over Tony's. "There's no time," he repeated.

"Come on, Cap. You can't die on me now. Not when I've just started to like you."

"That's not enough."

"What?"

Steve smiled sadly and lifted his hand, his fingertips brushing over Tony's jawline. "I'm sorry, Tony, but this spell is very specific. You've done your best and now you just have to let it go."

"I can't. I don't know what the Avengers would do without you." He swallowed. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he continued in a low voice. "I know we fight. Pretty much all the time. But we're like an old married couple. We fight because we care about each other. I know I've got a reputations as a selfish asshole, but I am capable of caring sometimes."

"I know," Steve said quietly. His fingers inched higher to stroke Tony's cheek. "You're a good man, Tony. I'm lucky I had the chance to love you."

Love?

Tony blinked a few times. "Could you repeat that? I think I'm hallucinating."

Steve sighed. "Don't. I don't want your mockery the last thing I hear."

"I wouldn't mock you," Tony said. "I said I liked you, didn't I?"

"Tony-"

"Don't make me say it. The word makes me break out in hives." He tried to force a smile, seeing how pale Steve's face had become. "But seriously, Steve. You mean a lot to me. I was just too much of a coward to do anything. And now it's too late."

Steve shut his eyes. "Not too late. It's a very specific spell. Broken by true love's kiss."

"You're kidding me."

Steve's cheeks flushed. "Loki was tired of me pining over you. So I was to either win your love, or die trying."

"That's pretty messed up. Even for Loki." But he kissed Steve anyway. It was as good an excuse as any.

Steve kissed him back. "I think it's working," he said.

Tony looked down at his hand splayed over Steve's chest. The little green lines had receded and the skin was a healthier pink hue. But there was still a lot of blood smeared all across Steve's chest.

"Want to try again?"

Tony grinned. "You don't even have to ask." He captured Steve's mouth in another kiss as his free hand curled back around the dagger's hilt. This time, it slipped free with very little resistance.

Steve coughed as blood spurted out from the hole. Tony shoved the scraps of Steve's shirt over the wound and pressed down hard to stop the bleeding. Any moment now, the supersoldier serum would kick in and it would start to heal up. Hopefully.

"It's okay, Tony. I've got this." Steve put his hand over the wound and Tony reluctantly stepped away. He watched the rise and fall of Steve's chest. He looked like he was recovering nicely. His color was already coming back.

"So," Tony said. "About this whole love thing."

And then Steve's cell phone rang.

"Sorry," Steve said. "This is kind of embarrassing." He fished the phone out of his pocket with his free hand. "Oh, Directory Fury. Yes, sir."

"Tell him you're wounded." Tony leaned closer to shout into the phone. "He's wounded, you asshole. Go pick on someone else."

Steve glared at him and snatched the phone back. "Yes, sir. I'm on my way." He sat up and tossed the scraps of cloth to the side. Yeah, totally healed. Not even a scar. Steve stopped at the door to scoop up his shield and then vaulted the stairs two at a time. Tony was just a little jealous. He couldn't do that right after recovering from a life-threatening injury. Hell, he couldn't do that even in the peak of health.

Tony sank back against the table. His shoulders ached. "Jarvis, being in love is exhausting."

"Indeed, sir."

"So, what were you trying to tell me earlier?"

There was a long silence. "In review of the circumstances, I believe it's no longer important."

Loki was altogether pleased the next morning as he watched Tony and Steve cook breakfast together. The fact that they were cooking for him was an added bonus. He was rather fond of Steve's spiced apple pancakes and Tony's chocolate chip pancakes weren't half-bad either.

But there was a certain satisfaction in seeing the two of them smile and lean into each other's space instead of bickering and fighting. He had rolled his eyes when they had each in their turn taken him aside and warned him that he better not try anything of the sort again. No, of course not. He didn't need to do any more meddling. They were now hopelessly, sickeningly in love with each other.

But...

His gaze slid to Clint Barton, who was attempting to swipe one of Steve's pancakes. Clint did have a little bit of a thing for Natasha. He could be the next victim, er, beneficiary of Loki's matchmaking skills. Loki smirked into his cup of coffee. He hadn't had this much fun in years.


End file.
